Category: From the Clergy

Blog Posts from our Clergy members

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From the Clergy

Contacting Our Interims

This post was last updated on January 18, 2024

From Stephanie Yancy:

Some of you have asked how to reach me. You can reach me via email through the link at the bottom of this blog post and via the staff page of the website. You may also call me on the office phone: 919-846-8338. If you leave a general message, Bradley will see that I get it. If your message is confidential please press 1 when you get to the welcome message, which will take you to my private extension. You may also call my cell phone: 410-971-8111. Please don’t hesitate to call if you need me.

When will I be in the office? My plan is to be in the office on Monday mornings and all day on Wednesdays and Thursdays. There will be times when I will have meetings outside of the office on one of those days, so you might want to call or email to make sure I’m in before making the trip. I’m also open to making appointments outside of my office hours; just call or email me to set something up. On Tuesdays I work from home; again, feel free to email or call me if you need me. Fridays are my sabbath, meaning please don’t call or expect an email response from me unless there is a pastoral emergency.

When should you call me? Always call if there is a pastoral emergency such as a hospitalization or death. At other times, if you need a quick response to a question and don’t want to wait for me to see your email, feel free to call or text me. As a general rule, call me whenever you would have called Stephanie Allen.

How should you address me? Adults may call me “Stephanie” or “Rev. Stephanie” — I don’t have a preference. I think it’s helpful for children to call me “Rev. Stephanie”.

The bottom line: I want to be accessible. I’d love to hear from you. If I haven’t answered your questions about how to reach me in this post please let me know – by email, text or phone call. Thanks!

— (The Rev.) Stephanie Yancy

From Cathy Deats:

As lead of our Interim Rector team, The Rev. Stephanie Yancy has clearly outlined ways to reach out to her.

Here are the ways to reach me:

You can email me at the link below.

You can usually find me in the office on Wednesdays from 9:30 am to 2:30 pm.  For appointments, I can be available at other weekday times.

You can call or text me at 908-500-2463.  

Since my role is quarter time, you will see me at church most but not all Sundays. Mondays and Fridays are my sabbath, and both can be interrupted only by pastoral emergencies.

I prefer to be addressed as “Cathy”, but if anyone prefers a more formal address, “Dr. Deats” is the way to go.

Stephanie and I share a bottom line:  We want to be accessible.

— (The Rev. Dr.) Cathy Deats

Email Stephanie Yancy

Email Cathy Deats

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From the Clergy

Farewell to Helen

Sunday, December 31 will be Helen Moses’ last official day at Nativity. We have so loved having her as our Priest Intern, and have appreciated all the many ways that she has been involved in the life of our parish: she has preached sermons, taught classes, she will be singing in some of our Christmas and Advent services, and much, much more. We will miss her greatly! We wish her all the best as she continues in her discernment process.

Helen has this to say:

Dear Nativity Family,

I can hardly believe our season together is coming to an end on December 31st. It has been an honor and a true joy to serve as your Priest Intern for the past six months. Thank you for your generous hospitality from the very beginning of my internship. I have felt welcomed, embraced, encouraged, and loved. It has been wonderful to learn from you and to get to know many of you as well. 

My experience with you at Nativity has been a valuable and crucial step in my discernment path, and serving you has brought me closer to God. I thank you for that. You have helped me grow in faith and gain new insights about what it means to follow God’s call. Wherever God calls me from here, I will always take a part of you with me. 

Know that I will keep Nativity in my prayers, especially in this time of transition. I believe God has someone very special in mind to be your next rector, and that person will be blessed to serve this congregation when the time is right.

Thank you again for everything. Though I am excited about what is yet to come in my journey, and am ready to move to the next step, I will miss you all very much.

Love,
Helen

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From the Clergy Social Justice

True Colors: LGBTQIA+ Support Group

by The Rev. Phillip Bass

Over the past year the Holy Spirit has stirred the hearts of many within Nativity to pay closer attention to the growing mental health needs of teens and children.   As we began to discuss these needs, we also became more and more aware of the frightening statistics regarding queer youth suicidal ideation and trauma, as well as the growing number of anti-LGBTQIA+ laws being debated and passed around the country.  Over time, it became clear that we had to do something.  

So, we began to ask ourselves, “How do we show God’s love to everyone, especially those who have been told that they are unworthy? How do we protect those who are most vulnerable? How do we model Christ to all of God’s children?”  

What first began as conversations among a few of us about the mental health needs of teens has evolved into a larger conversation of how we, as the Church, can best support queer youth and their parents.  Out of these conversations and dreaming with the Holy Spirit, the idea of offering support groups for queer teens and their parents emerged.   We are calling this new ministry True Colors!

Here’s what we have planned so far ~

Beginning on Wednesday, September 6, we will host weekly peer support groups for queer-identifying teens and their parents.  These groups will be led by volunteers from Nativity and the community.  We will meet weekly, on Wednesday evenings from 6:30 to8 pm.  After a short gathering, queer youth and their parents will divide into two groups: The first group will be for the youth themselves; the second will be for parents who are learning how to best love and support their queer children, while also working through their own “coming out” process.  

How you can learn more ~

Taking on a new ministry such as this can be intimidating.  Maybe you’ve wondered, “What if I say the wrong thing? What if I don’t know what to say? What if ….?”  

There are lots of worries about how we do this well and with love.  The simple answer is that each one of us will misstep.  But, I have no doubt that the Holy Spirit is active in this ministry and that it will be ok.  As a queer person myself, I can say that I’d rather someone love and accept me with the wrong words, than to not try at all.  

To address some of our shared concerns, I’ll be offering “Queer 101” on Sunday, August 13;  and again on Sunday, October 1, following the 10:30 services.  If you are interested in learning more about the queer experience or language you may hear in the groups about queer identity, I invite you to join us for one of the Queer 101 offerings. 

How you can help ~

There are several ways that you can be involved in this new ministry.  

 First, and most importantly, you can pray.  We need everyone’s prayers for this ministry.   Be in prayer for our discernment and planning.  We welcome your prayers for all involved; youth, parents,and volunteers.  

Second, you can volunteer.  For each weekly meeting we will need 5-7 volunteers:  2 facilitators in each support group, as well as greeters and hosts. 

 Third, you can offer support by providing games for the youth to play.  If you would like to purchase a game for the group, please contact me or Jeremy Clos.  

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In whatever way you can participate, through prayer, volunteering, and/or providing needed resources, your support will be invaluable to True Colors.   We envision this to be a living and growing ministry.  We are confident that we’ll learn and adapt as we move forward.  And, at the heart of this endeavor, we have the assurance that the Holy Spirit is with us and guiding us.  Let’s show God’s children just how much God loves them!

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From the Clergy Social Justice

Nativity Queer Youth Ministry

Be who you needed when you were younger, inscribed on a rainbow-colored rock

by Rev. Phillip Bass

In our baptismal vows, we commit ourselves to seeking and serving Christ in all persons and loving our neighbors as ourselves. We also promise to strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being. Nativity, these are promises you take seriously. Whether through your dedication to creation care, your work on racial justice, or your love and care for one another, I’ve witnessed your commitment to serving Christ in all people and respecting the dignity of every human being. 

If you have been present for or watched any of our recent services online, you will have heard Stephanie and me talk about the frightening statistics regarding queer youth and mental health. According to a recent survey conducted by the Trevor Project, queer youth are in alarmingly high rates of danger. 

Some of their findings include:

  • 45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year.
  • Fewer than 1 in 3 transgender and nonbinary youth found their home to be gender-affirming.
  • 60% of LGBTQ youth who wanted mental health care in the past year were not able to get it.
  • LGBTQ youth who live in a community that is accepting of LGBTQ people reported significantly lower rates of attempting suicide than those who do not.
  • 45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered suicide in the past year including more than half of transgender and nonbinary youth and 1 in 3 cisgender youth.
  • The Trevor Project estimates that more than 1.8 million LGBTQ youth (13-24) seriously consider suicide each year in the U.S. — and at least one attempts suicide every 45 seconds.

We have an opportunity to live further into our baptismal vows and to support the needs of queer youth. Starting this fall, Nativity will begin offering weekly support groups for queer youth and their parents. We have begun to gather volunteers and build connections with other support networks, such as the LGBT Center of Raleigh. This is a dream in progress, but one we feel strongly represents Nativity’s commitment to all of God’s children. 


We need your help! There are many ways that you can support this new ministry. Some of these include:

  • Be in prayer! We know that the Holy Spirit is active in our dreaming. The most important thing we can do is to pray for God’s guidance on how we can best use what we have available to help queer youth and families. We ask that you surround this ministry in prayer. 
  • Dream with us! We will hold a planning/dreaming/information session after the 10:30 worship service on Sunday, July 23. Please join us if you are interested in learning more and/or considering volunteering. 
  • Be present! We need people to participate in the weekly gatherings. This may include providing snacks, being present for moral support to those in attendance, or helping with set up and clean up. 
  • Get the word out! Once we have more finalized plans, we’ll need your help in letting families know that we are here for them. (More to come on this later!)

If you are interested in learning more or being involved, please contact me. I will be happy to answer any questions you have. I’m also creating an email list for those who are interested in and/or plan to participate and will gladly add your name to the list. 

— Rev. Phillip

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Children and Youth From the Clergy Uncategorized

Safe Church Training

The Episcopal Church and the Diocese of North Carolina take the issue of sexual misconduct and abuse very seriously. To address this issue, the Church has implemented policies and procedures that include requiring all clergy, staff, lay leaders, and volunteers to complete a series of courses in Safe Church Training. This training is designed to help prevent cases of sexual misconduct, abuse, and harassment within the Church and promotes a safe and healthy environment for everyone participating in its ministries and programs.

Church of the Nativity has long participated in Safe Church Training; each year we ask all volunteers and leaders of the Church to complete the required training. The in-person training of the past has been replaced by an online course comprising several different modules, a subset of which are required for various different positions. If you are a volunteer or lay leader, you will soon receive an invitation from Jeremy Clos to participate in the course. Once you’ve been invited, you can complete these modules at your own pace. Once completed, you are certified for a period of three (3) years before you will need to revisit the training.

Safe Church Training covers a range of topics relevant to various ministries here at Nativity, including how to recognize and report abuse, set boundaries, encourage appropriate behavior, and create safe environments for children and vulnerable adults. Therefore, Vestry members, all clergy and staff, those making home or hospital visits (ie. Stephen Ministers or Lay Eucharistic Visitors), and anyone working with youth or children’s formation should complete the course. By completing this training, individuals are better equipped to prevent and respond to instances of misconduct and abuse within the Church and the wider world. 

At Nativity, Safe Church Training is not just about meeting a legal requirement or fulfilling an obligation. Instead, we focus on creating a culture of safety, respect, and accountability within our Church. We seek to ensure that all individuals, regardless of their age, gender, or background, feel safe and valued within the community. It also helps to build trust and confidence among church members by demonstrating that our Church is committed to protecting its members and that we possess a clear process for reporting and addressing any incidents of misconduct. When these concerns are taken seriously and addressed in a timely and appropriate manner, confidence within the community increases. 

If you have questions about Safe Church Training or have not yet received an invitation, please reach out to Jeremy Clos, Lay Associate for Christian Formation. Email Jeremy Clos

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From the Clergy Glad Tidings

Lent Question: Literal Faith

We received the following question in our Lenten Question Box, which Rev. Phillip answers below:

“I have been a Christian most of my life. But over the years I’ve had a harder and harder time reconciling a loving God with the horrors that were and continue to be enacted in the name of Jesus — be it historical violence like the Crusades / Inquisitions, or the present-day anti-LGBTQIA and white supremacy gospel of hate preached by ‘Christian fundamentalists’. I’ve also come to a point where I don’t believe literally in a lot of the historical claims of the Bible, like the Immaculate Conception. In an increasingly polarized religious landscape, where liberal and progressive Christian voices are dwindling, I don’t know if there is a place for me anymore. What would you say to someone like me? Do I need literal faith to be a Christian? How do I reconcile all of this?”

“Do I need literal faith to be a Christian?” My short answer is no, you do not need literal faith to be a Christian. This is another wonderful question because it invites us to think about our lives of faith. I would argue that most of us have asked this question, or one similar to it, at some point in our lives. We’ve probably also asked a host of other questions, too: Why does the Bible contradict itself? What if the Resurrection didn’t really happen? Was the whole world really covered by a flood? I absolutely love it when I hear the faithful (I’m using that word intentionally here) ask these questions. I love it because asking those questions is in and of itself an act of faith. Our faith isn’t meant to be static; Faith is meant to be a living, breathing, ever-changing, and ever-growing relationship with God. As someone who works with relationships day in and day out as a therapist, I can assure you that questions are healthy. Questions are indicative of curiosity, wonder, and care for those we ask questions of. Questions show that we want to know more. When asked of scripture, questions help us to grow closer to one another and to God.

“What would you say to someone like me?” I’d say that you are asking the right questions! Our Episcopal practices are rooted in asking questions to better understand God. I invite you to read about The Three Legged Stool. In our particular branch of Christianity, we hold scripture, tradition, and reason together. We acknowledge that each of these alone isn’t enough. But, held together, they inform one another and help us to better understand God and our lives of faith. Scripture is our primary source of understanding God, especially through the life of Jesus. But, because God can’t be contained in the words of the Bible, we need our lived experiences and the lived experiences of those before us for better understanding. Each Sunday we say the words of the Nicene Creed together. These words have formed Christians throughout history, and they have given us a foundation upon which we can build our own lives of faith — through shared language and understanding. We are undoubtedly informed by those who have gone before us each time we say those words together. In addition, we have our own lived experiences. We have reason, our own understanding, which has been given to us as a gift from God. Through our lived experience and understanding, we can better build on the tradition of our faith and more fully understand scripture. Given that each of us have different lived experiences, our understanding, although similar, will generally differ in some ways when we answer questions about God and our faith. Which brings me to the final question that was shared for us to answer.

“How do I reconcile all of this?” We do this through the via media. None of us is an expert on God — only God can understand Godself fully. Sadly, Christians throughout history have surely tried to claim exclusive expertise about God. But God is so much greater than anything we can fully comprehend, even with our Three Legged Stool. That’s why we need one another. That’s why we need the Church. Together, we are offered an opportunity to share our experiences and understandings of God and to hear the experiences and understandings of others. Together, we get a fuller understanding of God.

As the greater question in this post points out, literalism has done great harm to many of God’s beloved people. Even though that harm has been done in the name of God, it is not of God. I say this because it has not demonstrated love. As our Presiding Bishop Curry reminds us often, “if it’s not about love, it’s not about God.” As one body, we the Church, can live into being God’s Kingdom of beloved questioners and demonstrate God’s love to all those harmed by the Church. Together, we can welcome in all who have questions and all those curious to know God more fully. And, we can keep asking the questions that strengthen our lives of faith as we learn from one another.

— Rev. Phillip

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From the Clergy Uncategorized

Lent Question: Forgiveness

During the season of Lent, Stephanie and Phillip are answering questions from the congregation about being an Episcopalian, discipleship, church traditions and history, and spiritual practices. If you have a question, you can leave it in the wooden question box, which can be found next to the offering plates by the inner Narthex doors.

We received the below question, which is answered today by Rev. Phillip.

“Anger, disappointment and frustration keep me from getting closer to God this Lent. I struggle to reconcile these feelings towards people who have gravely hurt those I love with being able to forgive. This tension causes me to lose sight of the fact God loves them as much as all of us. I get further frustrated when those folks who cause harm refuse to own their actions or make real efforts to reconcile with those they continue to hurt. I don’t know what I’m asking you to do with this; it is a snapshot of my wilderness.”

This is a wonderful question that is filled with great insight! Forgiving our enemies and/or the enemies of those we love can be one of the hardest challenges of being a Christian and it is at the heart of this question. Of course, in our personal relationships we may ask for or offer forgiveness directly to another person to bring about reconciliation. However, when we think of forgiving those who harm us or others socially, financially, or politically, the reality is that those we forgive often have no idea whether or not we have forgiven them. Therefore, we have to understand that forgiveness is about us. When we are trapped by resentment and anger we become focused on the behavior of others. When we do this we end up spending our time and energy on those who have upset us. This takes away from our time and energy being given to those we love and in our walk with God. Forgiveness of others strengthens our relationship with God by freeing us from emotional burdens of anger, disappointment, and frustration. It frees us to refocus our energy into loving ourselves, our neighbors, God, and even our enemies. Ultimately, forgiveness frees us from judging others and offers reflection of where we may need to establish healthy boundaries and practice loving ourselves.

In my clinical work, I often hear clients share their desire to forgive and how that desire is complicated by shame. Most of us are familiar with the verse from the Gospel of Matthew that reads, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.”¹ Even for clients who did not grow up in the church or who profess any religious belief, there is a general rule that judging others is wrong. So, when we are hurt and experience anger or frustration, we often feel shame about our emotional reaction because it can feel like judgment.

I define judgment as having an opinion with condemnation. I may see someone as bad, wrong, or evil. And, I may want to punish those who have hurt me or those I love. But, God doesn’t see it this way. God loves us all, even those who persecute us. That’s why we leave judgment to God. One of the ways I practice this is by reminding myself that the pain I see others causing is their work to figure out with God, not mine. I have enough of my own stuff to work out. And, I’m grateful for a God that is loving of us all as we work out our issues.

But that doesn’t mean that we don’t pay attention to how our bodies and our emotions react to our own pain or the pain of others. So what do we do with our experiences of those who hurt us or others? How do we forgive without judgment? To do that, we practice self care. We practice what Jesus has commanded, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”² Loving ourselves looks like understanding our emotions and holding healthy boundaries. Our emotions are not good or bad. They are gifts that God has given us and they reflect what is happening in our lives. Emotions that we are comfortable with or that “feel good,” such as happiness or joy reflect when our needs have been met. Other emotions, such as anger, disappointment, and frustration generally reflect when a need hasn’t been met. In the framework of this question, that is most often tied to not feeling a sense of physical or emotional safety. So, I can name my anger, disappointment, and frustration with someone’s behavior without judging them. It is a healthy and appropriate act of self care to name what I am experiencing. Then, I can decide what loving myself looks like.

Perhaps, it looks like setting healthy boundaries around myself or those I love. Maybe it looks like taking social, financial, or political action and using my voice to speak for those who are being harmed. It may even look like a relaxing spa day! I encourage you to think of forgiveness as a letting go and not an approval of someone’s actions. Letting go of those feelings of anger, disappointment, and frustration, as well as letting go of unhealthy relationships can be healing. It also frees us to do the radical work of loving ourselves and others. It isn’t always easy. But, with God’s help, it is possible.

—

  1. Matthew 7:1, NIV
  2. Matthew 22:37–39, KJV
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From the Clergy Uncategorized

Kneeling

Why is he kneeling?? You may be asking yourself that question in the coming weeks. You see, at a young age I was curious about the “hows and whys” of worship. I remember asking a very frustrated pastor, “why do we bow our heads?” and “why do we put our hands together when we pray?”. I’m sure these seemed like ridiculous questions to him, but to me as a young child, they were important in my growing faith.  

How we use our bodies in prayer has always been a curiosity of mine. So, it’s no surprise that I ended up in the Episcopal Church. From my very first visit to an Episcopal parish, I’ve been drawn to the embodiment of prayer exercised in our practices. As a therapist, I believe in “muscle memory” and that our relational experiences are intrinsically tied to our bodies. So, just as the Book of Common Prayer gives us a common language, I do believe that how we use our bodies in worship gives us common movement — shaping us and transforming how we move through the world. I also believe that how we use our bodies models for the children among us what reverence, community, and vulnerability look like.  

Therefore, over the season of Lent, I’ll be kneeling at the altar rail during the prayer of confession. This is a practice that I have missed and look forward to reengaging in over the coming season. You may feel called to do the same. Or, you may feel called to stand where you are. The great thing about our church is that there is no “right way.” How you use your body in prayer is your decision. So, do what feels right to you, what evokes a connection to the Spirit, and what shapes your life of faith.  

As for me, I’ll be kneeling… and now you know why.

— Rev. Phillip Bass

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From the Clergy Uncategorized

Lent 2023 at Nativity

What Do You Need from Lent?

You bid your faithful people cleanse their hearts and prepare with joy for the Paschal feast…
BCP, 379, Preface for Lent
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We don’t usually think of Lent as a time of joyful preparation. A time of cleansing, sure. But joy? This Lent, rather than asking you what you are going to give up or take on, what soul-cleansing  or penitence are you offering, I invite you to consider the following question:

What do you need to prepare with joy?

Perhaps our penitence is the naming of what we need, but were afraid to ask for? Perhaps our sins come from our unmet and unspoken needs? What better way to turn away from our sins than to ask God to meet that need. But, before we ask God, we have to acknowledge what our needs might be.

It is not fun to be needy. It is much more powerful to be the one who gives, not the one who needs. Knowing your needs is humbling. It is being vulnerable. There is always the risk that our request might not be answered. 

And yet, we are God’s faithful people not because we are faithful to God, but because God is always and forever faithful to us. Below are some ways you may enter into this season of Lent and name what you need:

— The Rev. Stephanie Allen

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From the Clergy Uncategorized

Lenten Devotions for 2023

The season of Lent is a time to craft a few extra moments for prayer and reflection. Here are a few materials to help you with that.

Episcopal Relief & Development

Who is My Neighbor?

This Lenten Season, Episcopal Relief & Development invites you to join us as we meditate on the commandment to love our neighbor and consider the meaning of this fundamental instruction in our daily lives. You may subscribe to receive a daily meditation by email or visit the page to read a weekly meditation.

Living Compass

Living Well Through Lent: Practicing Compassion with All Your Heart, Soul, Strength, and Mind. 

A daily devotion that you can download or receive each day via email.

Water and Spirit

Water and Spirit provides daily devotions for each day from Ash Wednesday to Easter. Devotions begin with an evocative image and a brief passage from the Gospel of John. The writers then bring their unique voices and pastoral wisdom to the texts with quotations to ponder, reflections, and prayers. This devotion is a printed booklet that will be available in the Narthex on Ash Wednesday in regular and large print.

Lent Is Not Rocket Science

Lent Is Not Rocket Science: An Exploration of God, Creation, and the Cosmos

The season of Lent prompts us to ask questions, big and small, about the nature of our being and about our role in the world. In these daily Lenten reflections, astronomer, physicist, and Episcopal Bishop W. Nicholas Knisely explores the intersection of faith and science, creation and the cosmos. This devotion will be available in the Narthex as a printed booklet.

— The Rev. Stephanie Allen