Usually, I look forward to the Lenten season with some anticipation. After the hectic and indulgent holiday season, I appreciate the intentional time to reset. Typically, my practice includes not only giving something up during the season but also taking on a discipline so that I might go deeper in the understanding of my faith. In the past, I’ve given up typical things like meat or even caffeine—that one was hard. I almost always add a discipline to my daily prayer practice: reading all the Psalms, a Lenten devotional guide, or a careful rereading of a couple of the Gospels. But, this year, the very nature of the past twelve months left me dreading the Lenten season. And, for good reason.
I’m not the first to say that the entire last year has felt like one long Lenten season. So much has been willingly given up in the name of safety. Not meeting together in the church has been one of the hardest. Ashley and I last ate in a restaurant for her birthday in 2020. So many date nights have been lost. The same goes for my usual weekly lunch with my mom and family gatherings on Sunday afternoons. Birthday celebrations, Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas found Ashley and me alone at home. My work in the theatre ground to a halt. I missed spending time with the youth in my Sunday school class.
Much has been gained. Ashley and I found more time for one another. Without weekly communion, I found solace in dining at the table of the word instead. Long days at home meant learning new skills. Creative ways of gathering together online found me reconnecting with friends from high school and college in monthly Zoom sessions. These small groups became a lifeline of spiritual communion.
So, with essentially a full year of Lent behind us, I just couldn’t wrap my head around the season. Nothing I could think to give up or to take on could compare with the transformative experience of the last year. Thus, I decided to give myself grace and almost completely skip this Lenten season. I did compromise with myself and decided upon 10 minutes of silence to center myself each day of the season. That’s all I could do. And that is okay.
I pray that if you find yourself in a similar frame of mind, you will give yourself the same grace this Lenten season. Easter is still coming, in more ways than one.
Jeremy Clos