We have just passed the one-year anniversary of the recognition that we are in a pandemic with COVID-19. There is no question but that our lives have changed, and these changes have impacted our relationship. It is a good time for reflection. Let us look at how it has affected our couple relationship for the good and the not so good. What have been the positives; the challenges, the unexpected pleasures, and the lamentations? How has this time changed your closeness and your flexibility?
We can go from boredom to anxiety and a host of other feelings in between. More time together can lead to complacency. Too many distractions and competing responsibilities can leave little time to be together. On the other hand, we have gained from sharing more time together. We share tasks and projects, help with the children, enjoying nature together, and simple pleasures such as making and eating a special meal together.
Below are questions for you to consider and reflect on. Take your time. First answer them individually and then share as a couple.
Answers will vary according to your stage of life and of marriage. An older married couple who have both retired will be different from a younger newly married couple, or a couple with young children, middle school children, high school, or young adults. Are those children studying and learning from home or are they in school? Are you working from home or going into the office or workplace? Do you have older siblings or parents that you are caring for?
- What was positive from this past year of the pandemic for you as a couple?
- What have been the challenges to you as a couple that have come because of the pandemic?
- What have been your laments during this time? What were your losses?
- What do we hope your relationship will look like after the pandemic? What do you want to keep and hold on to and what do you want to let go of?
- What are you personally willing to do to continue the emphasis on the positive, so your relationship looks like what you want it to be when the pandemic is over?
Some of these questions came from www.bettermarriages.org. Feel free to browse the website for more information.
Carl and Nancy Terry
Marriage Enrichment Leaders