This is a challenging time for couples and their relationships. We have been asked to “stay at home.” Unless we are part of the essential workforce, we may both be working from home, or one of us is working from home, or one or both of us have been furloughed or doesn’t have a job. If we have children, they are home and our job as parents has increased and is demanding. We may have parents, relatives, or friends that we are concerned about getting the COVID-19 virus.
We would like to share with you our thoughts about what you can do as a couple to focus on the opportunities that you have to maintain and strengthen your relationship. Communication and fun are two important things to remember.
A good tool for communication is to do a daily check in. Not just about things that must be done, but also about our feelings. “I am feeling scared”. “I am feeling overwhelmed.” An important part of that check-in is to ask, “How can I express my love for you today?” Maybe you are not able with children and/or jobs to do this daily, but once a week at least would be good. You can find a private time to share, but don’t worry if the children hear you. You are setting a good model for them.
Don’t forget to have fun and enjoy each other. Set aside a Date Night, a special time to be close and focus on each other. Some couples have reported that they dress up as if they were going out, set a special table, either cook or order a special meal. You can take turns planning the date or you can plan together. During the meal, focus the conversation on each other. Laugh, smile, share good memories of your relationship. You can also leave Love Notes for them to find. You can be brief: “I love you.” Or “ I care for you.” Etc. Consider Physical touch, not only sexual intimacy, but a hug, a brief touch, holding hands, a back rub, or a foot massage. As a couple living together. we can continue to be physically close which is so important to our well-being.
Carl and Nancy Terry
Marriage Mentors